Potter & Evans
by ElephantsAndTeacups
Summary: Conversations between Lily and James during their patrols in seventh year. Dialogue only because I'm a lazy sod. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Potter & Evans.**

_Chapter 1. Abominable Snowmen and Trainers._

_It's just after 2 in the morning here in Ireland and I can't sleep so this is what happened. I'm sorry if it's rubbish, I'm absolutely shattered. I promise I'll fix it up later on today.  
>Let me know if you want anymore of these in a review, I pinky swear they'll be better! Honest!<br>Much Love,_

_Patience._

'Evans?'

'What do you want _this _time Potter?'

'Well, the first trip to Hogsmeade is coming up and I was wondering if you possibly wanted to go with me...'

'My answer hasn't magically changed over the summer; it's still a no. Although we do have to walk to the village together, considering we're Heads.'

'But _Evans_, _why_ don't you want to come with me?'

'_Because, Potter_ you're an insufferable, bullying toe-rag.'

'Bullying? I haven't touched anyone all month!'

'Fine. How about insufferable, self-centred, cocky toe-rag?'

'I wouldn't say self-centred. I'm just aware of my many skills. But I suppose it'll do.'

'Potter!'

'What?'

'You stood on my foot you absolute moron. Honestly, you have the feet of the abominable snowman!'

'Of the _ambomiable snowman_...? Who in the name of Merlin's saggy buttocks is that?'

'Never mind. Wait... d'you hear that?'

'Hear what Evans?'

'That.'

'I can't hear anything except you.'

'There it is again!'

'What exactly is it you can hear?'

'It's a squeaky noise... like trainers on a polished surface.'

'...Erm, Evans?'

'Yes?'

'That's me. I have trainers on underneath my robes.'

'I could throttle you right now.'

'But you won't?'

'No.'

'Why?'

'Because.'

'Because what?'

'Because I don't have anyone to help me hide your body. You're not exactly a Cornish Pixie, Potter.'

'Are you calling me fat?'

'No.'

'So why would I be heavy?'

'Because, look at the blooming height of you!'

'But Evans... I'm skinny.'

'Right.'

'Bitch.'

'Don't you forget it Potter!'

'Course not Evans.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Potter & Evans**

_Chapter 2. Suggestive Pandas._

_Okay, so I wrote this in about twenty minutes. I seem to write the most in the early hours of the morning. Maybe I run on EST? Anyway, this chapter is pretty much lots of suggestiveness. Dirty-minded readers, this one's for you.  
>Much Love,<em>

_Patience_

**DISCLAIMER: I forgot to put this in last chapter so I will put it in here. I announce with much regret that I still do not own Harry Potter. It's Jo's. –sniffles-**

'Evans, will you stop fidgeting!'

'It's not going to fit you idiot.'

'Yes it is it's built to stretch.'

'Bloody hell that's sore!'

'Well if it wasn't so tight it would be done by now.'

'You're useless Potter, I hope you know that.'

'I'm not useless, I'm a brilliant flier.'

'Did I mention how modest you are?'

'No, but please feel free too.'

'I think I'll pass.'

'This isn't meant to be so difficult!'

'Look Potter, why don't we just call it a day?'

'NO! I WILL MAKE IT FIT.'

'Okay, whatever you say Mr Quidditch Captain.'

'Okay, maybe it's not going to fit after all.'

'You're giving up? Why don't you just use some more force?'

'But I don't want to hurt you. Then you won't let me do this again.'

'Don't be such a pansy, it's not going to hurt one bit.'

'If you're sure...'

'OW! BLOOMING HELL!'

'Sorry!'

'Maybe we should try and put my panda hat on another day, eh Potter? You look like you're going to explode from concentration.'


	3. Chapter 3

**Potter & Evans**

_Chapter 3. Unsuspected comforter._

_This is meant to be Lily trying to comfort James after an uncle he was close to is killed doing work for the Order. She's not the kind to go all soppy and say how he's always going to be there in his heart, Lily's just trying to get him to stop moping around because sitting around thinking about such morbid things isn't good for anyone's mental health. Anyway, I hope you like it.  
>Much Love,<em>

_Patience_

**DISCLAIMER: Do you want to upset me? Yes? Fine. I don't own Harry Potter. It's all Jo Rowling's.**

'Potter, I heard about your uncle. I know you were really close to him. If there's anything I can do...'

'Just... Just leave me be.'

'I really don't think that's the best idea when you're in this sort of state.'

'I'm fine.'

'You're crying.'

'No I'm not. I have allergies.'

'To?'

'Over helpful redheads.'

'Uncalled for. I am not 'over helpful'. To be honest, I'm not sure there's even such a thing.'

'Congrats then Evans, you've managed to invent it.'

'I'm not going to shout or hex you because frankly, you've got every reason to like this.'

'Thanks, I guess.'

'... Potter?'

'Yes Evans?'

'I'm going to regret this later but do you want to hang around with me today? I just don't think the other marauders would be quite as sympathetic as me, except Remus perhaps. Sirius on the other hand; he just doesn't quite know when to shut his mouth.'

'You're one to talk about never shutting up.'

'Is that a yes or a no Potter?'

'That's a yes.'

'Good.'

'Oh and Lily?'

'Hmm?'

'Thank-you.'

'You're welcome James.'


End file.
